If Only We Could Not Love (A Modern Day Love Story).

He loved her more than life itself, at least that’s what he told himself. She was his sun, his moon and stars. He worshipped her even though he never went on his hands and knees. She was the first thing he thought of when he woke, and her smile was the last image in his mind as he fell asleep. She was his goddess.

She did not love him. She had many needs and even more wants but his love was neither. She needed groceries and to pay her rent. She wanted shoes, clothes, bags and a golden necklace to cap it off. She did not need his love and only thought of him when her desires outweighed her means. She had no god but mammon.


Like so many men before him, he couldn’t see what was so clear to everyone else. He loved a woman who only loved herself. Perhaps at some point he knew something was wrong, maybe he thought if he spent enough on her he could eventually buy her love. After all she would smile and say “Thanks! I love you so much.”, after every shopping spree. Maybe after a few more outings she would really mean it.

As time went on he found it more difficult to tell her “I love you too.” He couldn’t continue lying to himself. The evidence was just too clear now… She reached out and held his hand today in public for the first time. She had always been reluctant to show him affection when they were out together so this was a pleasant surprise. But like a wave crashing against the shore it suddenly dawned on him that the only reason she clasped his hand so willingly was because they were just leaving LC Waikiki and walking towards Zara.

He had spent the better part of a year worrying, caring and loving someone he now realised felt nothing for him in return. If only we lived in a world where love could not exist unless it was reciprocal. Like the two poles of a magnet that cannot exist one without the other. In that world he could only love her as much as she loved him… so he wouldn’t have loved her at all.



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